The Crenshaw Family: April 2012

Wow. As I look back over the last year or two, my heart overflows with gratefulness and amazement. There have been twists and turns and what seemed to be unfulfilled plans, but all along the Lord knew where He wanted us and how He planned to get us there...of course we are still on the journey of life and are excited to one day look back to "today" in amazement. This season, however, began with a seed of surrender. In August of 2010, God began to turn our perception of life on this earth completely around in a deeper realm....it literally rocked our world, in a good way. The veils over our eyes concerning what "really" matters in life began to lift. Parts were very tough to swallow and though the waves of "holy" conviction were gut wrenching, they were sobering at the same time because His peace and revelation covered it all. During this particular time, the book - Radical, by David Platt- was a craze, however, ironically, David and I never read it. After all of this became heavy on our hearts, someone gave us the book, and we glanced at it. I got to page 68 and then stopped. Not because I wasn't it total agreement...in fact, it was a kindred Spirit to my soul, and I felt as I read the pages that the Lord had downloaded the same convictions about today's "little c" church within my heart. I stopped reading it because I didn't want anyone, nor myself, to feel that I was following or chasing a radical...yet not so radical...phase/popular trend. Long story short, this caused an urgency to surrender ALL to Him. (We as Christians say that we surrender all and trust Him in everything we do, but the truth of the matter is we live very explained, box-confined lives....which are far from what He's designed and equipped His "Big C" Church and Bride to be.) Long story short, we were convinced and truly felt led to serve in Jackson through WeWillGo, so we began making preparations to sell our house to begin heading in that direction. Of course at the time, I was teaching, so it was very hard to contain all that was going on and still go about, what I felt, were mundane obligations. God eventually balanced all that out though, and I ended up having a great year. I sat down with my principals and tried to convey what was going on, and I felt that I had their blessing. It was then, even in the first 9 weeks of school, that contingent on selling our house, I would not be coming back to work that following August. I felt as though even with their blessings, there were some underlying emotions and tensions in the air, but I believe it was mostly due to an initial post that I had written on my blog...maybe prematurely and unfiltered. Anyway, we put our house up for sale, but then in January our world was rocked yet again...by a positive pregnancy test!!! Conner was three and 1/2, Cayden had just turned ONE in October, we were wholeheartedly heading to Jackson, MS to serve with WeWillGo, and BAM...game changer?? Well, after my two week, straight-up depression about the new life growing inside of me...( I'm teary eyed just thinking about how wrong that was of me. Great reminder that HE is the Giver of Life and our ways/thoughts are not His.)...we thought well, we'll just proceed on the journey and bring this new little one/member of our family with us. However, what WAS a game changer was me even clinging to the possibility of returning to work whether the house sold or not....you see I had told my administration that if our house didn't end up selling, I would just plan to come back that next year...knowing that there was NO way on this earth we could afford our house note. (Ha!! So I thought...) HOWEVER, with the news of this new little baby on the way, there was absolutely NO way on earth we could afford THREE kids in daycare. It would be pointless to even work at that point. So by February, it was set in stone that "Mrs. Crenshaw" would be leaving. I look back and have complete peace that my teaching door is closed right now and truly felt a release from that place...I believe it was two sided, and that my principals were beginning to desire that release as well. (I know that may sound audacious...but I could discern a change of the tide or guard rather.)The Lord opens and closes doors to provide and protect...I feel that this door was not only closed so that I could bask in the calling of mommy/wife, but it was for my protection as well. I can't explain all that was going on, but I sensed it greatly, and I have no doubt that had I stayed another year, it would've been a long, trying, unfulfilled year- that HE may not have even equipped me to do since it wasn't His will!! I'm so grateful HE goes before us and leads us!!! To sum up the rest of my school year, we of course found out we were having a little girl...who we now know as Sarah Kate!!!, and we were elated to say the least. God granted me the strength to get through, and I officially packed up my teaching life last May. All the while, our house not only wouldn't sell, but the Lord kept blowing down our sign! After about the fifth time, we prayed over it and said okay Lord we're trusting you with all this...YOU are all knowing, our provider, and this is YOUR house. If you don't want us to sell it, and it blows down again, we won't put the sign back up. Well, sure enough, the sign blew down again for the last time back in June. Ironically, despite the fact that our income was being chopped in half, we were in a house that "required" both of us working, and we were about to bring another child into this world...not to mention the economy crisis, there was a clear and strong peace. Probably due to the world rocking he had done within us about total surrender and trust IN HIM!! He's an ON TIME God and THE ultimate provider!!! David got a raise two weeks before Baby Girl was born, we were blessed with a $200 out-of-pocket van (My Vintage Van- a 1999 with less miles than the Camry had on it that had belonged to David's uncle), and He's come in to provide each and every month making sure that we're okay in many ways. David's been blessed with side jobs, and I'm now keeping Beau at the house which helps as well. I say all this to conclude that though we are not currently following through with moving to downtown Jackson, the work within our hearts was a life-changing experience and I believe a test in obedience. Being able to stay at home is SUCH a BLESSING!! We embrace and are thankful for it even more after the road He's taken us down to get here....there's contentment in the simplicity of life these days. It's hard to believe it's the end of April...the wind down of what would've wrapped up another school year. I haven't missed it one time and though some of my days I feel like pulling each and every hair out (had those in the classroom too), I truly feel I'm AT HOME, where I'm meant to be. THIS is a ministry of raising my children and pouring into my family..of course remembering that I'm Salt and Light outdoors of my home. We're making the preparations to put the house up for sale again. We feel the Lord's timing in it...and pray HE sells it soon and leads us to our next HOME. I personally would love to have a more spacious, older, inexpensive home with a large yard for the kids to play. He knows what we need and has confirmed throughout these last few years that HE will work it ALL out for the GOOD!
(I seem to keep my posts either short and sweet with pictures or dive deep, deep down into what's tugging on my heartstrings...not much in the middle, but there you go, a pouring of my heart kind of post that somewhat captures the grand overview/catch-up of where the Crenshaws have been and the journey we continue to live...as best I can within mere typed words.)

Once again, since I was on praise team Easter Sunday, I had to leave earlier than the rest of the family, but sweet David snapped these pictures of the kids that morning.

After church, we headed over to Mammaw Shirley's for lunch and Easter fun!

Anna Grace and Cayden in their PINK shirts!....had to convince Cayden to wear it. At first, he said, that's Sarah Kate's shirt, but then David pointed out the "blue" horse on it which sealed the deal. Ha! (Have a feeling that pink won't be a popular color for my boys for awhile around my house....I won't make them wear it anymore.) They'll have to choose to later on I guess.

Mammaw Shirley and Sweet SK!

COUSINS!!!

Emit cracked me UP!!! He was so excited to hide all the eggs, then bragged about how good of a job he did, then showed Cayden where each and every one was!!! Hahahaha! It was too cute.

So proud!

After Mammaw's we went to Andrew and Sarah's house! (Also....I haven't blogged about the Jernigan's latest BLESSING from above yet!! The Lord brought their second daughter, Drew Anna into the world on February 16th...she was born at 27 weeks weighing in at 1pound, 7ouces. By the GRACE and LOVING HAND of the Lord, she's been thriving and doing so good. She now weighs almost 4 pounds, and they are getting close to discharging her from the hospital!!! Praise JESUS!!)