WARNING: Long Post I wanted to let those of you who love and care for us know about something we're going through as a family so that you can pray!8) Thank you! If you have time to read it, here it goes...
There has been a huge topic of conversation at our house for the past couple of weeks....whether or not I should go back to work and it's been sooner than we expected! The Lord has blessed David and I tremendously in so many ways!! He worked everything out so that I did and still do have the option to stay at home with Conner; I'm just not sure of the time frame. Obviously, with us having to adjust to one income, we've had to make some changes and sacrifices. We are beginning to get serious about finding a home/land...it's a bit overwhelming especially seeing how the market is at the present time. I know that things will make a turn for the best and thankfully, thanks to Mammaw Shirley-thank you!! thank you!!, we are not in a position to sell a home. However, we are in a time of transition and know that there are even more financial decisions/sacrifices around the corner. First of all, let me say that I am completely confident that the Lord is Jehovah Jirah, our provider, and I know that sometimes on "paper" things don't work out, but HE makes a way in the end!! Knowing this truth, I still want to do what's best for our family whether that means being a stay at home mom or a working mom. We've been discussing a couple of options that would require me working at night and on weekends, and I just haven't had a peace about it at all!! Yes, it would enable me to stay at home and possibly help with health benefits, but David and I would be bypassing one another to go to work, and in the long run, I think it might put a larger strain on our family. I've always wanted to stay at home, and David and I made that decision back when we were "boyfriend & girlfriend"...8) It has been such a JOY being at home with Conner, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything!! David is not putting pressure on me...this is totally coming from my heart/thoughts. I haven't really obtained the "UNREALISTIC" view that I had in my mind of being a stay at home mom/wife. Is the house immaculate?...no Do I prepare gourmet meals every night?...no Do I always have the energy required to keep Conner stimulated/happy?...no Have I been abusing the right to sleep in?...yes! 8) All of these questions are actually 'LIGHT-HEARTED" and I realize that it would have never been to that extreme, but my point is now I can envision life as a working (outside of the home) mom where before I never gave it much thought. I have no doubt that I would continue striving to be the mom/wife that God wants me to be. In fact, I've seen some of my friends do it, and they do a fantastic job!! Plus, I know that I have a support team found in my friends and family. My ultimate reason for choosing the profession of a teacher is because it blends so well with the family, and of course, I have a passion for children and a love for teaching! In the past, I've been guilty of staying up in my classroom WAY too long after the bell rings, accepting phone calls from parents early in the morning and at night, and not allowing myself to take off my "teacher" hat when I entered the home. Well, things have changed, and I now have a precious little boy and of course my hubby to take care of!! I believe I'm now capable of creating a healthy balance between teaching and all other aspects of life...actually I began to accomplish this last year when I was pregnant, so I know it can be done.
I chose to blog about this for THREE main reasons: #1 Our family would appreciate your prayers and any words of encouragement that you may have for us. This is a huge decision, and we truly desire to do the Lord's will!! We ask you to pray for wisdom and clarity and ultimately STRENGTH if I do go back to teaching sooner than we expected. #2 I wanted to list the positive reasons for going back to work. If I were to create a list of the reasons to stay at home, it would be never ending, so I decided to focus on some positive aspects in being a working mom/wife! #3 For journal purposes...it is so amazing when you look back at your life during particular times and you're able to witness first-hand what the Lord has done and how He put everything together for the good!!
Positive reasons for going back to work...remember, I'm not even going to mention the ones that stink such as waking up at 5:00AM...oops, that one slipped!8)
1. Well, since I've already mentioned getting to school so early, I'll go ahead and say that on mornings where you have to literally CRAWL out of bed and into the shower to get ready, there is usually a very rewarding experience on the other side. One of my favorite moments is when the first student walks into the classroom with his/her book bag and looks at you with this half-tired yet inspired smile wondering what is in store for the day. At that moment, it's okay!
2. The financial burden would be lifted...we would have another source of income/INSURANCE...big one!!
3. I would have more adult interaction again...that's always good!
4. I would get to interact with students again...I really do miss that! My love language is "Words Of Approval/Encouragement", and although David does a great job encouraging me, I miss the students' sweet letters and comments. Maybe there's not much merit to..."Mrs. Crenshaw, you're the best teacher!", "You're so sweet and pretty", and other sweet messages, but they still touch my heart in a special way and give me the extra boost I need to get through the day!
5. It would be a good change for CONNER!!! He is growing up so much and loves to be around people...young and old. I am so proud of the way he interacts with others; he would have a wonderful opportunity to learn new experiences at daycare and would enjoy playing with the other babies/children. He does such a great job at church nursery...Crossgates and our brothers' & sisters' church, Pinelake! I think it would be an easy transition for him especially during this first year of his life. It will be somewhat more difficult for me, but in the long run, I believe it would be good for both of us and our relationship.
6. I am blessed with a job where I can still be the "hands on" mom that I desire to be while continuing to teach. We get out around 3:00, and therefore, I would still have the afternoon with Conner. In addition, I would have my weekends, school holidays, and summer....HUGE!!
7. I would miss my precept Bible Study on Tuesday mornings, but there is so much good that's come out of it. I have met wonderful new friends, and most importantly I've found a love for the OLD TESTAMENT. Every single king/prophet or any other person, situation, and story was divinely written in God's Word so that we may apply it to our lives and learn how to live a life that honors HIM...with our WHOLE heart!!8) My prayer is that I continue to dig deep in His Word so that He can draw me closer and closer!!
8. The school day flies!! Before you know it, it's lunch, then dismissal!! Same with the year!...time flies when you're having fun and you don't have enough time to get everything done!
9. I'll get my creative side of the brain working again!8)
10. I'll have a reason to dress up...compared to staying in my pj's until 2:00pm or later!
11. The structure would be good for me.
Well, after thinking about ALL of this for awhile, my momma called me and told me that something had dropped in her Spirit....she said that she couldn't stop thinking about me going back to teaching. I admire my parents so much!! They both have a close relationship with the Lord and raised me to desire the same for my life. I realize MORE and MORE that I am blessed with an AMAZING mom and dad who pray for me, encourage me, and are there for me even as I get older. The Lord just confirmed to and through my mom that we are looking in the right direction rather than focusing on jobs that I would solely be working for the money and at inconvenient hours to accommodate me being able to stay at home. I have the most PEACE about just going back to work as a teacher!! I recently saw a very disturbing Oprah show where "stay at home" moms and "working" moms fought back and forth about who was right or wrong. There is simply not a RIGHT or WRONG way when it comes to working/nonworking moms. It's more about HOW I spend my time with Conner....and that's NOT CHANGING!!!8)
Please continue to pray for us!! I called my principal and have taken a pregnancy leave position in January. This will be a great opportunity to get my feet wet about going back to work and to see if it's what the Lord wants for us!!!! The most amazing part is that I'll actually be in my OLD classroom working with Mrs. Schuerman, my teaching assistant- in SECOND grade! Another specific prayer need that we have is finding the right daycare situation for Conner. Also, if I'm supposed to go back to work next year...of course there needs to be a job opening! I'll keep you updated as time goes by...thank you in advance for your thoughts, words of encouragement, and prayers!!
5 comments:
Shelley I'm so proud for you. I know that God has awesome things in store for your family. Isn't it wonderful when we do things GOD'S way we can have peace because we know He's got it already covered. I think a lot about going back, just because I miss the teaching, kids, etc. But last time I even looked in that direction God totally shut me down, but reassured me when the time is right I'll have the perfect spot.
"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are treasures forevermore" Psalm 16:11
I know exactly what you are going through. I went through the same thing with Addison.
Unlike you, I never felt called to be a SAHM. I always felt as though PT is my mission...a mission that I can sucessfully fulfill while raising a family. BUT I was VERY open to the idea of being a SAHM IF that was what the Lord called me to do!! After LOTS of prayer, we believe the right decision was for me to go back to work.
I am SOOO thankful that Addison is in a GREAT daycare situation that allows her lots of social interaction and structure. I also like going to work and using my God-given talents to bless others in the way the Lord has specifically skilled me for! I know that if I did not have an "official" job, I would still be doing therapy in some form or fashion!
The hardest thing has been trying to "explain" the decision to others. Some people are VERY judgemental and do not understand why I work. BUT, I find confidence that it was a GOD decision and not a selfish decision. He has given me peace beyond all understanding. Yes - some days are CRAZY and HECTIC, but at this stage in my life, I am being called to work and I choose to let God handle the rest :-)
Hope this helps!!
Lisa Rhodes
I will comment a little more later...I am a little hormonal now and am holding back tears :) I have also thought about this road...still not sure! I am very proud of your decision and your diligence to seek after what the LORD would have for you!! Love you!!
Shelley, WOW, You were just on my mind this morning! I was at Rouse walking the halls heading back to work after Annah Brooke's party and you came to mind. I thought about how wonderful of a teacher you were to Avery and how much he loved having you as a student teacher! I, like you, do not think there is a wrong or right decision. I think it is whatever best fits each family! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! This is a hard decision but all of your "positive" reasons for going back to work are good! Keep me updated! Love, Melanie
well...i haven't been on the computer in a week except to check emails b/c it's been crazy, but kara shared with me the good news! i must say it's not what i expected, but after reading this, it's so very clear where your heart is. you know that i've always said it's a personal decision that should be made between spouses and children, but because of the world we live in, sometimes those of us who choose to work (whether because we have to, because we love what we do, OR BOTH!!)are judged as though maybe we don't care as much about our families as those who stay at home. there's nothing further from the truth. i work because i do love my family, and i do want what's best for them. and although some days are extremely long, tiring, and challenging, , and just plain hard, my times with my family are that much sweeter when i do come home. i've learned to leave work at work (well, mostly:), and when i'm at home, it's all about ryan and the kids. things are much more in perspective than they've ever been. in the past i've felt the need to "explain" my reasonings for working, but now, God has given me the deepest peace and has told me that it's what He wants for us. i am totally okay with that.:) He continues to bless us, and my children are an example of the product of a working mom. they are healthy, happy, and smart (and not all because of me!! haha!) if this is what works out for you, conner will continue to thrive and grow, and he won't miss a beat.
of course i'll be praying for you and your family as you make these big decisions. i know God will reveal Himself to you, and will never lead you astray. trust in His will and His goodness. You know how much I love you.:)
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