Our Lil' Pumpkin!

Last night we decided to paint my belly! Mostly due to the fact that for some reason, these last two weeks seem like they're gonna take forever, and my body feels like it could go into labor any second, so I feel as though time is of the essence. :) Hopefully, our lil' precious pumpkin can hang in there TWO more weeks...me too for that matter!!

Conner got a total kick out of it and kept saying, "Belly big, Mamma!!" Ha!

Yep, we are calling him Cayden Charles!! Conner keeps saying Cayden, we keep saying Cayden, and it just feels right. Maybe one day I'll have baby boy #3 (which would be PERFECT!) and we could name him Jon David. Can I just say how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being a momma of boys?! It's what I've always dreamed of as a little girl, and now the Lord is granting those desires.

We painted Conner's belly as a baseball when I was 37 weeks...if there are more children in the future, we will definitely have to keep up the tradition. Can't stop now! :)

As for me, as much as I can't stand having to admit this, I'm STRUGGLING! Big time. My perfectionism has kicked in high gear yet my body can not keep up physically, emotionally, or even mentally. Plus, with Conner, "ignorance was bliss"....I had absolutely no clue what I was doing or exactly what was to come but was loving every minute of it. Also, I just "knew" that I was never going to work again outside of the home, so I began to close my chapter of teaching and embrace the whole stay-at-home-mom thing. This time around I know what's about to take place (somewhat) and I'm scared, stressed, nervous about having TWO kids and going BACK to work, drained, physically pooped, and just trying to do WAY too much to prepare for our big change that's about to take place. I've got to chill out for the sake of my health, Cayden's health, and the sanity of my two sweet, loving guys who have been putting up with me for these last few weeks. I feel as though time is caving in on me yet there's so much to be done. My mom encouraged me yesterday and basically told me to let go and realize that it's gonna be okay at this point if my classroom/house isn't in perfect order. I've been busting my tail, and now it's just time to make it through these last two weeks of school knowing that everything won't be perfect, but it will be perfectly fine. I mean, it's simply been hard for me to walk down the halls here lately. On top of it, my principal is also pregnant (due at the same time), and I'll catch her zooming around our school, just doing great...which makes me happy for her but sure is another blow to my pride. I feel like I'm maxed out and just barely hangin' in there. Oh, and it also doesn't help that everyone assumes that because obviously I'm not the size of a house that everything should be a piece of cake...so not true. Though I haven't gained that much weight, I'm just as much exhausted, physically hurting, and PREGNANT people!! :) Although, I ain't gonna lie, the cute belly comments do feel good. Ha!!

To make it through these last couple of weeks, I'm going to try and leave as early as I can each afternoon so that I can come home and put my feet up. David's really been helping me out by picking up Conner from school. This way I have a little down time before dinner/cleaning/Conner Man/etc. :) I'm also gonna use this time to spend more quiet time with the Lord knowing that whether my list of things to do has five items or five-hundred, I can not fully accomplish anything apart from HIM!! Everything is ultimately in His hands! Our health, finances, and day-to-day schedules and tasks are all under His control....that is, when I let go!

After all this venting and admitting my hardships, I'm SOOO very thankful and excited to meet our new little one in a matter of TWO weeks!! He has already brought so much joy and though this is going to seem weird, I feel like I know him more than I did Conner at this point by the way he moves about my belly. Ummm...which is A LOT! Ha!! At our last sonogram, he had his little hand up to his mouth, and we could see him breathing in and out. The ultrasound tech said that this meant his lungs had already fully developed!! :) His estimated weight is about 5lbs 6oz which is comforting.

For those of you who made it through this long, drawn out, poor-pitiful-me post, thanks! Ha! We'll keep you updated....but for now, I'm about to get ready to go get me some gowns for the hospital. I'm on a mission for some beautiful, comfy, motherly gowns that will make me feel all pretty & special as we welcome sweet Cayden into this world!!